My name is Akbar and I am a proud member of the pride parade. Prior to meeting Charley I was lost in a life of the filthy devotion of Islam. My mind was polluted with thoughts of killing white people and blowing shit up but now I am free.
No longer does my wife have to wear a burka to cover up the bruises of my past muslim rage and my sons are no longer required to fight in the Jihad and grow fuzzy beards.
Charley is a great black man of power and wisdom. He taught me that it is ok to hit my wife with the palm of my hand as long it is on her backside and I say "dizam girl what you been eatin!".
I have also learned that eating pork is not a crime to eat as long as it is on the rib and you pour honey mixed with ketchup on it. He also taught me that a slice of white bread can be used as a napkin and watermelon is a divine desert.
My friends in the pride Parade have taught me many things in way of enlightenment and I am learning the path of not bumbling.
Praise Charley.
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26 comments:
I like white bread and chickens.
I was once a bumbler too.
The man I was bumbled.
The man I was will bumble again.
I had to change the man.
Thank you, Akbar.
I question that you have met Charlie in person. But this site is interesting so far.
"No longer does my wife have to wear a burka to cover up the bruises of my past muslim rage and my sons are no longer required to fight in the Jihad and grow fuzzy beards."
Well, that is some progress. Now if you could only convert your fellow countrymen where you came from.
Happy trails, hugs.
Hypersonic - Fuck you ya nerd.
Mr BBC,
My friend.It seems to me, you lived your life like a candle in the wind never knowing who to claim to until the rain has set in.
Follow us and you will not be a buzzing bumbler.
Praze be the name of Mr. Pride. I wuz face-to-face with bumblers while I was eatin cornbread and mountan dew!!
The bumblers swarming and swarmed! All over they be swarming. Bumblers!! BZZZZ!!!
I be killed the bumblers wit a rolled up newspaper! I am earth, I am stems, I am the antibumbler! I am Raymond!
Very well said my friend.
The bumblers be going for my patato salad too!
I don't think Charlie Pride is an alien. But I like his music very much. And I don't think Islam is the problem. Religions don't kill people...etc etc.
Mr. Sarcasmus,
It is not an alien that we speak of.
Mr Pride is our savior from many bad things. Raymond broke into a home and spent time in jail. Mr Ian was a singer in a band and has a friend named Crabcake. My brother Steve was lost in the desert on LSD but now we are here together as one. Please follow me into the path of enlightenment.
In the midwest...Charlie Pride (years ago) was loved by everyone. My mother listened to his music and I grew up with it.
Watermelon is GREAT!! I just had it for dinner as a matter of fact.
I hope that all is well and NO...YOU CANNOT HIT YOUR WIFE!! It's never been ok.
My dear Jilie,
I would never hit my wife in the face.
She is the mother of my sons and my two daughters that will give birth to boys.
You are a beautiful fancy lady. Please can I have your email address?
I know who you is, get off of my poperty!
Mr Josh,
I know that you spelled property wrong on mistake.
My friend. We are here to show you the way to enlightenment.
Are you a bumbler? I don't think so.
You are a little folk prepared to take the journey with us.
Praise Charley.
Akbar
Where do I sign up?
Are you ready for enlightenment Jlee?
You are a beautiful fancy lady.
I have been fighting off them bumblers all day long in the park with roled nosepaper. I yell GO AWAY BUMBLERS GET AWAY FROM MY CORNBREAD, GO AWAY FROM MY POTATO SALAD, GO AWAY FROM MY MOUNTAIN DEW!!! GO FIND HONEY!!!
The bumblers be swarmin around I kill the bumblers, take them bodies line em up and do a body count of how many bumblers I be killin.
I kiled thirtyteen bumblers!
Bumblers be wearin yellow colored jackets to prevent us from seein that htey be bumblers!!!
BUMBLERS CANT BE HIDING FROM US WEARIN YELLOW JACKETS!!!
Another old man be callin these bumblers hornets! I dont no why bumblres gettin all hornet, I did not no they have penises and pussies to be having sex plesure wit!
I hear what you are saying, Akbar, and appreciate where your life’s journey has brought you. May I say that not all Muslims promote death and evil just as not all who claim to be Christians follow the ways of Christ. I have numerous friends who are Muslim who are seriously committed to the ways of justice and peace. Even though I am an ordained Christian minister, we have more in common than I have with many fundamentalist Christians. Likewise, there are many Jews and Hindus and Buddhists who are my comrades in the pursuit of peace and justice. I hope to welcome you and your comrades into that group.
And, to answer the question you posed on my blog, no, I have never seen a cat’s skeleton in a tree. I assume that, had Alex gotten hungry enough, he would have found his way off that limb, with or without the assistance of me and his kitty friend.
Blessings and much shalom to you!
I'm drunk now. but I love you Charley.
I see the bumblers are bees right? Odd that they should give you so much of a problem. I like watermelons as well - we grow them down here in Devon, UK. Maybe you would like to come down for a visit sometime??
Can I join the Pride parade by the way and what are we proud of ?
Mr. Pride be putting on his pants one leg at a time!
Hmmm, seems all the girls here are beautiful fancy ladies. And you would never hit your wife in the face? Well, hell that makes it acceptable then (call me sarcasmus).
I am adding you to my blog roll - even though you are as mad as a plate!
Nick - Thank you my friend you are a very honored man.
Sarcasmus - I like you very very very very very very much my friend.
Mutleythedog - Raymond is a very eager man. He has had a very hard life.
Raymond - Yes he does. We all do my red boned friend.
Wisdomstuff - You are honored to be my leading friend tonight if you are a fancy lady.
Signgurl - You my dear are a beautiful flower you naughty little fancy lady. I would tickle your naughty bits with the hot smooth underside of my tongue.
Mutleythedog - Thank you my dear.
akbar, I am far fancier than you can even imagine :-)
Oopsy
It is beautiful to me that you have found something to live for. Tell me, how did you begin to embrace life again and not just see the endless void of despair stretched out to eternity before your failing feet?
Just wondering.
Om another note, pork ribs are good eating! Not as good as eating your own shame and guilt over being a failed clown, but nearly.
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